I've been training for the Diabetes Olympics for 25 years and I think this year might be my year to bring several medals home for Team USA. Thanks to Death of a Pancreas for these fantastics olympic events.
Shooting (up) - Points are deducted for blood or a wet shot (insulin seeping out of the skin after the needle is removed).
Judge's Critique: Since I am on the pump and rarely have to give an injection this isn't something I have a problem with. However I am horrible about having a pump bump which I have been told is unabsorbed insulin sitting under the skin.Result: Automatic disqualification
Synchronized Living - This is the ability to balance carbs, insulin, exercise, stress, illnesses, and hormones; and still achieve reasonably good numbers.Judge's Critique: Is anyone able to win gold in this event? During practice I do great, but when the stress of competition becomes to much, I just fold under the pressure.
Result: DNF, did not finish.
Speed Getting Ready - Waking up 1/2 hour late after a night of out of range blood sugars, with a nearly empty insulin reservoir, a sensor error, a serious case of ketone breath, you have a big assignment due at school and a presentation at work and need to be at work in 30 minutes. Good Luck.
Judge's Critique: Dry Shampoo was created for these days, 5 minutes to do my hair. 2 minutes to get dressed, since I laid out my clothes the night before. I can change my pump site and put in a new sensor in my office at work. 2 minutes to brush my teeth and banish the ketone breath. 1 minute to grab my homework, lunch and diabetes supplies. 15 minutes to drive to work. Arrive with 5 minutes to spare. Result: Gold!
10 Meter Dash - From the bed to the refrigerator to get juice. Or from the couch to the bathroom when you have a high blood sugar.
Judge's Critique: Great at the couch to bathroom portion, automatic disqualification for the bed to fridge.Result: DNF
WAG-ing - (stands for Wild Ass Guessing) as in how many carbs are in the yummy casserole?
Judge's Critique: Good strategy in this event. Carries the handy Calorie King cheat book.Result: Silver
Juggling - Taking care of diabetes related issues while simultaneously cooking, cleaning, blogging, walking the dogs, etc....
Judge's Critique: Needs work prioritizing, some things can wait until later, diabetes care should come first.Result: Bronze
Biathlon - Which, of course is the combination of two sports. The key, as any good athlete will tell you, is preparation.
Judge's Critique: I am very good at combining WAG-ing and Accuracy. Result: Silver
Accuracy - Guessing what the BG is going to be before the meter displays the result.
Judge's Critique: With the help of the sensor I can guess pretty accurately. But sometimes I am surprised. Result: Gold
Wrestling - This is really a mind wrestling event. Trying to convince yourself to push the sof-serter/sen-serter button to shove a needle temporarily into your flesh.
Judge's Critique: This athlete uses the "dance" technique, which involves swaying on one foot with the insertion device pressed against her skin. I employ deep breathing and relaxation until I am finally ready to push the button. Can take up to 5 minutes to finally occur. Result: Silver
Swimming - As in "just keep swimming". Usually done on days where you swear you cannot do this for another second. When you are bone tired and there is nobody to take the baton from your hand. When all you want to do is climb up onto your roof and scream the F-word (no, not fine) for as loud and as long as possible. When it seems like the tears will never stop falling. You still kick your legs and flail your arms to keep your head above the water and "just keep swimming". Because you have to.
Judge's Critique: Finds strength and support from the DOC!
Result: Gold
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