I had nearly finished writing out a post yesterday, but decided it sounded like I was fishing for compliments, so I tossed it. Now after today's events I feel like it is okay to post it.
I am very secure in my self-worth. I know I should lose a few pounds for my overall health, but my self confidence is stable. I don't need to compare myself to other women to know that I am beautiful. I truly believe that I have a special purpose here and that purpose does not change whether I weigh 110 lbs. or
185 lbs. That being said there a really wonderful local restaurant that makes me super uncomfortable to go into.
Each of the staff
members in this place appear model perfect, they are so thin and so beautiful, it makes me feel like an ugly duckling. But that is not even the part that really bothers me, what bothers me is how I react to this discomfort. I turn hostile, total wicked witch. I try to smile and be nice to these girls, and instead it comes out snarky and sarcastic. I don't like behaving that way. What is wrong with me. Maybe I should avoid eating there, but there food is so yummy (not that I think any of those girls eat it.)